Can you help this mother with a software suggestion?

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Can you help this mother with a software suggestion?

(19 posts) (15 voices)

Started 3 years ago by heidihopes
Latest reply from xxxxxx

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heidihopes

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I have a friend who is a parent of a troubled 15 year old boy. She is very concerned about him right now but the more she worries, the more he closes off. Things became much worse when he got his own computer and he spends an increasing amount of time on it. She has always respected his privacy, but believes it is time to do more investigating of what he is up too. He won't show her anything that he does on it and will quickly close whatever he is working on when someone comes in. Obviously, if it appears harmless, she will relax some and stop but after events like Columbine and the rate of teen suicide, she feels she has the responsibility and the right to at least make sure that there isn't something there that requires immediate intervention.

I have told her that I had heard of some software programs that can track a person's keystrokes and is used by parents, employers, etc. Unfortunately, I don't remember any of these programs names and where I heard of them. I told her that I often went to these forums to find the best software so I am posting her situation here.

She is on a very tight budget and doesn't want to spend much money on this if at all possible especially since she may only need it for a day or two. She still holds out hope that it is harmless but it is where he does almost all of his communicating with others. I hope that I can find her a program that is either free or a has a free trial that is fully functional for a few days.

If you are a person who might consider this "snooping" let me reassure you that all other steps have been taken to get this boy to communicate but the situation grows more serious each day. I promised I wouldn't give out details so let me just say that the time to do this is absolutely now and the motives are definitely appropriate.

Thank you for any help.

Posted 3 years ago #
MrFishy

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Here's some I copied and pasted from WRabbit Post. Hope it helps. Good luck!
Freeware: Refog Keylogger:

Be Aware of What's Going on at Your PC
Are you the only user of your PC? Is your Personal Computer shared with your spouse and kids? Check out what's going on there with REFOG Free Keylogger!
Do your children spend a lot of time chatting over the Internet? Make sure your kids are safe by monitoring their chats and prevent inappropriate browsing activities by recording Web sites that they visit. REFOG Free Keylogger runs in a system tray near the clock, and registers all key presses and visited Web sites. Your kids won't be able to access or disable REFOG Free Keylogger without knowing your secret password.

http://www.refog.com/ (check near bottom of page)

Actual Keylogger:

Actual Keylogger is a free key logger that records every keystroke to an encrypted log file. Every keystroke is written to the log file with the title of the window that was active at that moment. Actual Keylogger runs hidden in the background and automatically logs all keystrokes. The interface can be password protected. Only the person who knows a special key combination can control Actual Keylogger. You can view the reports as HTML or plain text. Actual Keylogger cannot be seen in the task manager, programs files menu, system tray or uninstall list. Actual Keylogger helps any computer user see what activities took place in their computer.

Actual Keylogger features:
Logs all keystrokes, is case sensitive.
When viewing the keystrokes can show only the characters without showing the pressed system keys which is more convenient. For example, if the following keys are pressed: "[Shift]It[Space]is[Space]free[Space]keylogger."
You can see the text "It is free keylogger."
having checked the "Show only characters" option.
Log search with or without the case sensitive option.
All the information is stored in the encrypted log file.
Generates the report in the text and html format.
Works in the standard and hidden mode.
In the hidden mode it is invisible in all operating systems (in Windows NT/2000/XP processes as well).
Provides the opportunity to protect keylogger with the password, so that nobody except you could view the logs.
Is not detected by antivirus software.

http://www.dirfile.com/actual_keylogger.htm

Posted 3 years ago #
AlexSJ

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You might to check out Uconomix SnapLogger
http://www.uconomix.com/Products/SnapLogger/Default.aspx?o=SnapLoggerStartMenu
They have a 15 day trial. Program snaps screenshots at set intervals and can password protect the images. It will add itself as an icon to the system tray and thus may be somewhat visible.
Anyway, it was offered here before. who knows, it might come back if there are requests for it.
Pura vida, AlexSJ

Posted 3 years ago #
jlouis7518

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here is a link for a soft in french 'Pas Touche XP' i'am french and don't find the same software in english

http://www.commentcamarche.net/telecharger/telecharger-34055108-pas-touche-xp

i hope that can help you

Jean-Louis

Posted 3 years ago #
Whiterabbit-uk

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Hi Heidihopes,

The thread dealing with this issue can be found by following the thread below:

http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/3773

There's quite a decent list of Freeware as well as commercial software that deals with key loggers and time management software. I hope your friend resolves the lack of communication between herself and her son. 15 is a very awkward age to be from what I remember of my two eldest (32 and 28), and which I'm going to have to go through again with my new family (aged 9 and 7). There're still pretty sweet, though Callum, the 9 year old is starting to try out his skills at being cheeky, obstructive and downright awful at times, lol. Still they are beautiful, and I'll miss them when they grow older. At least they still look on me as being a super hero who knows everything and can get them virtually anything they need. :) No doubt they will come down off the clouds in the next few years and see all the fallible bits, lol.

Posted 3 years ago #
aRenegade

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I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Finding a key logger program is the easy part in all of this, and they don’t cost a lot of money. GAOTD has put up WinLog Assist which I use because it’s great for billing purposes on freelance projects, plain old personal time management, etc, and I believe it costs about $30.00 from the developer. The real problem is how to get it install on his PC. If he is that secretive than chances he’s got that thing locked up tight with passwords. She will not be able to get past the welcome screen. She is going to turn that thing on, watch the pretty running light for a few seconds, then BAM! Password Please. A logger is worthless until it is installed.

It can be done but it’s going to take some brainstorming to work out a strategy. Offhand I can think of two ways. The first would be to stake out his room and wait it out until he goes to the bathroom, or something to get him away from the PC long enough for someone else to do the deed. So she may need the help of a cohort. But with something like that you need to keep in mind that has to be done fast because if they wait too long, and a screensaver kicks in, then chances are he may have enabled a password to get back to the desk top. My second idea may not sit right with some people but there are times when desperate parents have to resort to desperate actions for the good of their children. Sabotage the PC. Pour coffee or something on the keyboard, the idea being that the PC will have to be taken in somewhere for repair. Then have the technician install the logger and create a “backdoor” so it doesn’t matter how well its password protected because mom knows where the “secret entrance” is.

He may not be doing anything wrong at all and is just being secretive. At 15 teens tend to want privacy as part of the growing cycle. When I was that age I was closing the door in my room because “hey I’m a big kid now”. I didn’t do that often because there were no computers or video games at that time. Hand held calculators were the big thing.

Here are three web sites that specialize in parental control software, and may be a good source of advice and information on how to plant the program when they’re not looking. I wish you the best of luck, and “do what you gotta do”.

Free Download Manager
http://www.freedownloadmanager.org/downloads/parental_control_software/

Parental Control Software for Computer Monitoring
(Children protection software - internet control software - internet monitoring software)
http://www.parentalcontrol.net/

Sofotex
http://www.sofotex.com/download/Security/Parental_Control/more3.html

This is the link to the GAOTD program I mentioned. I only included it because the web page has screenshots of what the reports look like. Also I believe it may be coming around soon to GAOTD so it’s something to keep your eyes on.
http://www.mytimeassist.com/content/view/28/70/

Posted 3 years ago #
Damian

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I wouldn't be surprised if he's looking at porn which is natural for a teenage boy.

Maybe it should be handled by asking just that and coming to terms with it...

Posted 3 years ago #
copmom

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This topic seems to cover similar items "Parental Software" http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/3773

Posted 3 years ago #
BuBBy

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Teh adnim

maybe having the computer out of the bedroom and into the family room (an open, public area of the house). If not hiding anything, this should not be a problem. If noise is a problem (ie gaming) you have headphones etc.

Posted 3 years ago #
triphammer

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Beyond getting software to monitor the little lad... she should learn how to explore the computer herself without software. A 15 year old would be able to figure out quite quickly what's installed on a machine.

It's not hard to look at temporary internet files.. or even chat logs for programs... or even to check out the cookies folder for traces of where he's been. Putting the computer in the living room might solve some of the problem as well. Privacy for a 15 year old starts when they're 18 and move out. If he's still under the same roof then he should be following the rules of the house.

Let's face it.. if it was really a problem, a mother could just take away the computer. It just sounds to me like she's reluctant to enforce to the little lad that she's the one in charge.

Posted 3 years ago #
Paul F. Quantum AKA "The Dragon"

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Hi all,

@heidihopes :

Just found this piece of freeware : http://www.download.com/Shadow-Keylogger-Portable-/3000-2132_4-10832253.html?cdlPid=10832254

It is called Shadow Keylogger (Portable) 1.1 and should fit the bill.

Ciao

Posted 3 years ago #
clobermier

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As a mom of a moody 16 year old, I agree with several of the suggestions here. Have the computer in a public room. Learn how to check the trail he leaves, even if he figures out how to clear out the History. (My son learned that rapidly, but didn't figure out the temp files) As far as a keylogger, I don't think she should get one. It seems sneaky-unless she tells her son straight up what she's doing. Insist that she is a friend on his myspace (assuming he has one, since I think every teen does), even if she has to set up a myspace account. But basically, I think she should take charge of the computer. Her son might be mad at her, but so what? He'll get over it. She's the boss.

Posted 3 years ago #
heidihopes

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Thanks for all of the ideas and suggestions. It is such a delicate situation and I know she thinks she's tried everything but there are some good suggestions here that she may want to consider.

They did "ground" him from the computer for awhile, taking it out of his room and putting it in a locked shed. They were hoping that he would be bored and start to find interest in other activities again. Of course there were many behavior outbursts with it but he "did his time" as he refers to it and when they gave it back to him he just became more distrustful of them.

While she would not approve of any porn activity, it would not concern her like other issues and isn't what she suspects is going on. She is mostly concerned with who he is communicating with. They have always tried to monitor his friends as much as they can without too much interferring to make sure that he is not hanging out with drug users or bad influences. When the friends were calling or coming over to communicate with him they had some control over this. Now that he communicates with them on the computer primarily, she doesn't even know who he is talking to. Since he's had the computer his entire attitude has shifted to being disrespectful and irresponsible. She is mostly concerned that he is being influenced by other kids that he knows his parents would not approve of.

I helped her check the temporary internet files but as some one said, he knows how to clear them and does it regularly. She knows he spends a lot of time on myspace and facebook but can't get in them without his password.

They could take some more drastic measures like removing the PC or putting it into a different room but they know it will just create more lack of trust from him and will certainly do that if they find something concerning. If they find that his computer time is more or less harmless and typical of a boy his age, they will be more likely to suspect that his poor attitude is being influenced by something other than his internet use. They expect to have him see a professional soon either way.

That's what she is hoping to accomplish for now. These tools should help. Thanks again.

Posted 3 years ago #
Buckleysmom

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heidihopes.......another suggestion......

Tell mom to get a "secret" email address (a free webmail acct like gmail, yahoo, or whatever) and set it up as though she is a teenager and contact him using this account. She could say she "stumbled across his Myspace account and thought he sounded interesting" or something similar. She can talk to him and pretend she's a girl and can more than likely find out more about him than she'd ever imagine. Or she could have a friend do this (maybe you?).

Posted 3 years ago #
aRenegade

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heidihopes, where does the boys father fit in all of this?

Posted 3 years ago #
heidihopes

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He is gone for his job a lot so it is mostly his mother that deals with him. He is also concerned but hasn't seen the worst of it like she has so not as much. He has tried to travel less and spend more time with him but the son isn't that interested right now. Maybe when he is away on business he can "impersonate" a kid and try getting him engaged in chat or something online.

Posted 3 years ago #
azhur

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how about this as a parental suggestion: Allow Block http://www.allowblock.com to block or allow sites of your choice

Posted 3 years ago #
aRenegade

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Sadly, it's not an uncommon scenario. What we have here is serious breakdown of communication between a teenager and his parents. Although it's commendable that you're making these inquiries on behalf of your friend, however, I believe it's unwise to involve yourself in their family affairs. Even though you may be the best of friends with mom, spend a lot of time socializing, it still is not the same as living with someone. There may be a very real reason for his behavior. Have you ever talked about these things directly with the boy?

He may not be an adult, but he certainly is not a child. This is a volatile situation that in the teen’s best interest should be handled by a professional mental health counselor. There are many support resources available for both the parents and their son, and many of them are free if finances are an issue. My prayers go out to that young man, his mother, and his father. You have shown yourself to be a good friend, but sometimes-good friends need to step back.

You cannot tell mom what to do, but you can tell her that whatever she does, you and your shoulder will always be there.

Posted 3 years ago #
xxxxxx

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Just what does the mother think he's up to online? The fact that he spends all of his time online and is secretive about it does not, in itself, mean he's up to no good or consorting with evildoers.

Maybe he's writing awful fanfiction, or sappy love poetry. Plenty of reason to be embarrassed about either. Or maybe he's gay, and the only people he can talk to about it are people who don't know him (not an uncommon teenage reaction).

The problem here, is that once your friend finds out what he's doing, she can't ever NOT know. Despite what she says, she may not want to deal with what it turns out to be, or even know how to deal with it, and end up making things worse.

It's a parent-child communication problem, not a computer problem. And please, don't even consider pretending to be a young girl on MySpace to get 'close' to him. That could scar a kid for life.

Posted 3 years ago #

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