10 - I don't have enough brain tumors as it is.
9 - As I take a bite of my Jumbo Jack at Jack-In-The-Box, I really enjoy hearing the guy at the table next to me discussing his recent hemorrhoid operation.
8 - Driving on a freeway full of people who are paying more attention to texting than they are to steering makes the trip much more exciting!
7 - Why get games free on THIS website, when I can pay $7.99 for a game app for my cellphone and then pay $10,000 for an electron microscope so that I can actually see the game to play it?
6 - The cellphone comes in handy if you are sitting in the bathroom and come up with a brilliant posting for Twitter.
5 - I can make crank phone calls to people in Mongolia, and it doesn't cost me anything extra.
4 - It's a quick and easy way to notify a friend when GOTD actually decides to post a game on their Game Giveaway site.
3 - Cellphones are great for testing Laws of Gravity from atop a skyscraper, or for testing the pulverizing abilities of a steamroller.
2 - While sitting in a movie theater, hearing annoying ringtones helps break up the monotony of listening to the actors voices in the flick you just paid 12 bucks to see.
1 - They are conveniently shaped so that the guy in the library yelling on the phone can easily follow your instructions on where he should put his cellphone.