After three days of packed schedules and faulty internet access, I have finally been able to review a game. But, as with my other returns from extended leave, I did not like what I found.
Also, I have decided to blatantly ignore the statement at the beginning of my last review and use yet another score scheme. It's mostly a cosmetic difference, though - I'm merely using decimals rather than percentages.
My review of Ice Cream Tycoon Deluxe:
This has to be the most mind-numbingly dull game that I have ever played. In fact, I bet that a real pushcart-based ice cream business would be more exciting. How so? The player literally makes money in this game by waiting. Basically, the main character - named Rex, of all things - pushes a little ice cream cart around and hopes that people buy it. There's actually a button that skips the day so that the player doesn't get bored and fall asleep - and they still make a profit. To keep the player interested(if that can even apply to this game), Rex by default patrols a tiny loop, forcing the player to steer down various (usually fruitless)streets. However, Rex is extremely difficult to control. If the player wants to actually deviate from the preset loop, they need skill and persistance to get Rex to actually turn. The basic sequence of events is this:
1. Try to turn, and fail.
2. Double back(which takes F O R E V E R).
3. Overshoot, end up back on the loop, and double back again.
4. Repeat until asleep or until Rex actually turns.
The money-management aspects are also simplistic, not being far advanced beyond the basic weapon shops found in several worthwhile games(the only difference is that the player buys ice cream instead of guns). In summary, this game is inexcusably boring.
It's inexcusably hideous, too. Everything in the game is modeled in late-90s Silly Putty-esque 3D, with horrible animation and even worse designs. Even worse is the intro sequence, which not only has the aforementioned faults, but is stunningly low-res, like a scaled-up YouTube movie.
That intro also has what is possibly the worst voice acting ever used in a computer game, with laughably fake-sounding voices and sounds. The sound itself also skips frequently. The actual in-play sounds aren't much better, with hardly more than the abominable music(which doesn't even loop right) to listen to. I muted my speakers.
And the theme? Well, if the reader is dippy enough to think that a kid would trade his dog for an ice cream cart to "help [his] family", and that the cart itself would be offered on the grounds that the former owner was tired of pushing it, then they'd love it. Sane people, however, would probably shake their heads in both amusement and sadness. Garish colors abound, and the menu is a hideous rendering of what looks to be blue, heavily chipped ice.
As for presentation and finish, the game had an uninstaller that left all of its files(it only removed the program's name from the program list) on my hard drive, and a faulty DLL that had to be replaced by a user-contributed one(thanks, CreamyPretzel!). Also, putting "Deluxe" at the end of a game's title invariably makes it sound unprofessional. Bad show, Incagold, bad show.
Overall, I give Ice Cream Tycoon Deluxe a score of 2.4 out of ten(2 for gameplay, 3 for graphics, 3 for sound, 2 for theme, and 2 for finish). For those who want to play the worst tycoon game ever made, it's perfect. For everyone else, it's unpalatable.
