:)
Good morning Maizey.
I really loved that joke!Thanks.
Giveaway of the Day Forums » Talks
for the ladies
(301 posts)
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Posted 4 months ago #
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Robert, you are welcome. Please, check your admiral seeds from today.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Maizey,please check yours too ,will you.
Sorry for being late...Posted 4 months ago # -
Admiral seeds? Did I miss something?
Posted 4 months ago # -
You know Admiral Seeds, don't you? He's been in the Navy for almost 30 years.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Guess not.. met my hubby well after he was out of the Navy, so nope.
Posted 4 months ago # -
What men say and what they actually mean . . .
* "I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
* "IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
* "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR
* "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
* "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works."
* "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
* "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
* "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?"
* "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F-Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
* "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
* "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
* "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
* "I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
* "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?"
* "I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
* "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
* "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
* "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
* "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."Posted 4 months ago # -
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes
Posted 4 months ago # -
Good one maizey.. at least now they can't say we're not posting in here! AND.. if you really want to drive your man crazy, just leave the house for your errands and have the remote with you hidden in your purse! Then they'd actually have to get up to change the channel, after they go nuts trying to find it!
Posted 4 months ago # -
I hear that a NHTSA statistical report on Red Light Cameras has been stonewalled by women's groups. Apparently, 93% of photo tickets were issued to females, and of the 7% of males caught by the camera, the majority were subsequently arrested for DUI within minutes after passing through the intersection.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Well Maizey
I must say I enjoyed your "What men say and what they actually mean . . ."
:)Posted 4 months ago # -
yeah, maizey-that was a good one.
Posted 4 months ago # -
"Travel Brochures-What they actually mean" was very funny to read...
Lively = After hours German hardcore trance disco under your room.
Unspoilt = Nobody wants to go there.
...
Lol.Posted 4 months ago # -
What's this "Travel Brochures" thing? Is this something that's for women only? Inside joke or something?
You ladies are hard to understand! "I'M GOING FISHING"
Posted 4 months ago # -
HIS AND HERS Road trip
HERS:
Pulls off at wrong exit.
opens window
asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
Arrives at destination presently.
HIS:
Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.
Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.
Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air
Pulls up to a 7 -11
Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
Gets back into car.
Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
Almost hits a deer
Curses the night
Curses you
Curses the large slurpee
Drives and fiddles with radio.
Yells at you for suggesting the map again
Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway.
He hates your sister.
Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel
He had to look up pernicious.
Couldn't find a dictionary.
Finally found a dictionary
Couldn't spell pernicious.
Seethes at the memory of it all
But she is laughing inside...
And of course you're still lost.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Here's something to try...I got 8 out of 10.
CAN YOU JUDGE SOMEONE BY LOOKING AT THEM?
BY LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF HE IS A COMPUTER GEEK OR A SERIAL KILLER.GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING AND CLICK ON YOUR CHOICE.
THERE ARE 10 PHOTOS. YOUR SCORE WILL BE GIVEN AT THE END.
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquizPosted 4 months ago # -
i got 8 out of 10, too. the ones i got wrong were programmers who looked like serial killers (at least to me.)
interesting and fun.
Posted 4 months ago # -
Serial killers on the "for the ladies" thread? So I can talk about men's abs on the guys thread, or serial killers on this one. Hmmm....wonder if I can sneak onto the next Shuttle.......
Posted 4 months ago # -
I got 7 out of 10. Must admit a lot of the programmers looked like killers!
I guess it's true, you can't judge a book by it's cover!Posted 4 months ago # -
I'm a very poor judge of character! I've proven it time and time again. I only got 5/10!
Posted 4 months ago # -
7/10 for me too they all look creepy to me and who is to say those 3 i chose to be serial killers won't be one in time:) lol
Posted 4 months ago # -
9 / 10
Posted 4 months ago # -
12/10
(I know a couple of programmers that aren't serial killers. They've each only killed one woman.)
Posted 4 months ago # -
lol!
Posted 4 months ago # -
LMAO you got me laughing very very hard on that one pretzel:)ty i needed that today
Posted 4 months ago # -
Something for the ladies..
how to tell my achy breaky heart ...
Posted 4 months ago # -
Oh, Robert, so sweeeet...
Posted 4 months ago # -
Hmmmmmmmmmm Robert are you trying to give us anocean front property?
Since this is only my second hyperlink i hope i did it right:) lol
Posted 4 months ago # -
MALE OR FEMALE
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE: Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
MAGIC 8 BALL: Male, because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually
indicate it did not pay attention to your question.WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
CRITIC: Female, What, this needs to be explained?
Posted 4 months ago # -
REMOTE CONTROL:Female
:)What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
Posted 4 months ago #
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