The morning after? You party last night?
Giveaway of the Day Forums » Talks
for the ladies
(301 posts)
-
Posted 5 months ago #
-
just a normal friday night but with the added feature of a bottle of pinot grigio afterwards. Ive also just remembered that I volunteered to do a pub quiz in 2 weeks time, know any good quiz sites?
Posted 5 months ago # -
mike, sorry, no. My memory stinks, so I don't do many quizzes. I'll bet funykmom might know of some. :)
Posted 5 months ago # -
hmmm, might start a new thread.( last nights jackpot question: where is the artesian sea/basin?)[I won £38]
maizey , how can you have a bad memory when you're so quick with word association links?Posted 5 months ago # -
Here you go mikerb: http://www.funtrivia.com/
Posted 5 months ago # -
just to push this thread up again and to listen to an amazing girl and because my eyes are so watery and because....hi Phillip
ok - I think I need some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzPosted 5 months ago # -
A wealthy business man and his wife are looking through a
marriage-help book when his husband turns to his wife. ''It says here
that the most important thing in a marriage is honesty. So let's come
to grips here. Honey... have you ever cheated on me? I've never
cheated on you.''He saw the twisted look on his wife's face, and trying to supress his
anger, he asked: ''How many times? And when?''The wife responded, ''Well... you know that time when your company was
broke, and you couldn't get the landlord to let his pay slide for
another month?''The husband stared. ''You mean you're the one who got him to?''
His wife knodded. The husband thought it over, then sighed. ''I guess
that's okay. Any other times?''''Well... when you had that heart attack, and the doctor refused to
give a heart transplant for the ammount of money we had at the time...
I kinda...''''Ah, you're the one who made it possible.''
The husband looked honestly relieved. ''Well, that's understandable,
you saved my life. Any others?''She nodded. ''One more.''
The husband leaned forward. ''Well... you remember the time when you
were running for president of your company, and you were short by 17
votes...?''Posted 5 months ago # -
graylox.........nice one ...aha so you are wandering around my area ....Failte....nice singer,...that Holly.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Women over 60 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and our fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my pants.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Posted 5 months ago # -
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
thank you.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Advice on men
1. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same, they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don’t make fools of men, most of them are the do it yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
Posted 4 months ago # -
maize..all I can say is Amen!
Posted 4 months ago # -
I suppose I shouldn't be reading this thread..
LOL.
But I enjoyed reading some 'advice on men',Maizey!
:)Posted 4 months ago # -
Robert..If you can still laugh after reading some of them you are welcome to be here! They say only true men can wear a pink or purple shirt..would you? LOL
Posted 4 months ago # -
suzzyqz.. nowadays all the newscasters, etc. are wearing pink, rose, & purple shirts. Anything goes!
Posted 4 months ago # -
copmom, do you think that Robert may be a newscaster? :)
Posted 4 months ago # -
Maybe so! *-)
Posted 4 months ago # -
hey..guys..wonder what channel he might be on..apparently not ours..copmom..some of those newscasters I would wonder about no matter the color! oops..better add of the shirt! LOL
Posted 4 months ago # -
Pink,....Rose,.....and Purple Shirts?????guess I will never make a newscaster???, even my boxer shorts do not match those colors,....."nor my briefs",...(worn for special occasions)???
Paulga
Posted 4 months ago # -
ADVICE TO MEN (From Women)
The reason our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually CHANGE our underwear.
The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.
If we're watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching because of the cute butts.
Don't fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.
Please don't drive when you're not driving.
Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.
If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "Who's easy?"
Stop telling us that most male strippers are gay: WE DON'T CARE!
Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.
Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.
Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.
Posted 4 months ago # -
ADVICE TO WOMEN FROM MEN
Shopping is NOT fascinating
If you really want a nice guy,stop dating good looking assholes
Those male models are all gay,accept it
Any sort if injury involving the testicles,is not funny
Fine is not an acceptable way to end an argument
Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball match,do in fact constitute going out to dinner
If we see you in the morning and at night,why call us at work?
Is it too much to ask to have your bra match your panties?
Even if you think Keven Costner is cute,he can't act
Sports Illustrator is a better magazine than cosmopolitan, just accept that
Sex on a weeknight is generally welcome
Dinner out is a pretty good birthday present, two tickets to a ball game is even better
When watching TV, hugging is always fine because i can still see the screen
Just tell me what you want me to wear,before i get dressed,and remember it takes me less than 10 mins, no matter what the occasion,after all i am getting dressed, not getting ready
If you want ME to put the toilet seat down when i am finished,then YOU should leave the toilet seat UP when you are finished,it's only fair, and stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl, what do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own?Paulga
Posted 4 months ago # -
maizeydaze..you go girl..
Paulga..my bras always match my panties..you men just don't take time to look. You want us to "dress up" so five minutes later it can be in a pile in the floor! LOL!!
We like the boxer briefs the best..Posted 4 months ago # -
A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale."
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
_____________________________________suzzyqz, you're a riot! :D
Posted 4 months ago # -
maizey and philip- i love both those lists.
suzzyqz- i agree 100%! boxer briefs are the way to go. :D
Posted 4 months ago # -
ANNOUNCEMENT
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Posted 4 months ago # -
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, remember:
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called .......'Ministers Do More Than Lay People.'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'
11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Posted 4 months ago # -
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her name-they just moved in.
She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars ."
"Oh my Goodness," moaned th e mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!
He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
Posted 4 months ago # -
Oh yes.maize!!
When a man volunteers to do the BBQing, the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
and he asks her to bring him another beer!Posted 4 months ago # -
Oh, suzzyqz, we don't need to repeat that one again! See this crazy thread. Oh, my! I was glad when it ended. Whew!
Posted 4 months ago # -
sorry maize..didn't see that one!
Posted 4 months ago #
Reply »
You must log in to post.