Giveaway of the Day Forums » Talks

can anyone use a giggle?

(706 posts)

  1. graylox
    Member

    http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2616?replies=6#post-17758

    sorry Rune, had to do this.
    As I wrote down my school memories I felt rather old, but under which royal highness did you serve ? Louis XIV or Henry 4th ?

    Posted 8 months ago #
  2. funkymom
    Member

    good call, graylox!

    Posted 8 months ago #
  3. RunesageMagik
    Member

    T'was merely an expository spoof on pomp & circumstance. The poster's name - Keymaster - hinted at prose adventure games, with kings, knights, wizards, and dragons, not to mention tempting wenches with bare midriffs and damsels in distress. I hope it didn't hide the serious point of my post... archival searches.

    Truth be told, rather than serve at the pleasure of royalty, I would most likely choose the role of thorn in their side, burr in their hindquarters or pain in their neck. I hold no truck with petty tyrants nor do I trust any so-called leader who believes to be representing a deity.

    Now that you mention it, though, the talk of grade school did make me feel old. "Duck & Cover", pats of REAL butter in the cafeteria, no drugs or guns being sold in the restrooms, actual booklearning going on in classrooms... ah, thems were the days.

    Posted 8 months ago #
  4. graylox
    Member

    Rune I love "Language Theater". We played it all the time with our children from their beginning, and are doing it still. They learned to listen
    carefully, and to speak and read very young. - I don't think, the point has gone lost, far from it!
    To the bare midriffs - Yes - hmmm , no not here...
    feeling old - one thing is worth : being old.
    Now we have the question : what is old ? hmmm, no not here...
    Here and now I'm going to make breakfast.
    Have a good bulk-download today ;)
    graylox

    Posted 8 months ago #
  5. The Word Keymaster reminded me of "Ghost Busters. :)

    http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/movies/ghostbusters.htm

    [Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door]
    Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
    [She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again]
    Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
    .

    http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0087332/quotes

    Warning: Some of these quotes may require a PG Rating. (Parental Guidance)

    Posted 8 months ago #
  6. LeKanaw
    Member

    Hello there my Peeps

    I hope it didn't hide the serious point of my post... archival searches

    Just in case, I just added a less flowery comment.
    They *really* need to look into it!!!

    Peace, Royal Clowness, Mangoette, Manu

    Posted 8 months ago #
  7. graylox
    Member

    Come on, let's sing together! 1 -2 -3 - :

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/cartoons/shaunthesheep/games/singalong/index.shtml

    Posted 8 months ago #
  8. funkymom
    Member

    oh! he's shaun the sheep....he's shaun the sheep.....

    thanks for the smile, graylox.

    maybe if i count some of these guys, i'll be able to sleep tonight!

    nobody hold their breath.

    Posted 8 months ago #
  9. graylox
    Member

    morning, have counted them twice - am back again

    Posted 8 months ago #
  10. funkymom
    Member

    something to think about:

    - Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

    (or, speaking as a former waitress, if you tell someone a plate is hot- they will touch it)

    Posted 8 months ago #
  11. RunesageMagik
    Member

    As science takes a back seat to marketing, rumors abound that museums plan to dumb down exhibits so they're "hip" and thus attract youngsters weaned on public noneducation and commercial broadcast television. The strategy is said to have caught on after a jungle researcher described a courtship dance of the Manakin as the Michael Jackson Moonwalk". Now, under pressure from a major corporate sponsor, a treasured museum artifact will soon be relabeled:
    "The Original Ipod."

    Posted 7 months ago #
  12. funkymom
    Member

    rune- this world is a ridiculous place.

    Posted 7 months ago #
  13. graylox
    Member

    one more under the topic cute n kitsch:

    http://www.dugnet.org/klown/wallpaper/show.php?id=_wallpaper/_other/stinkychimp

    Posted 7 months ago #
  14. graylox
    Member

  15. funkymom
    Member

    graylox-
    i love it..i'm thinking of applying.
    part-time sounds good.
    ------------------------------
    i actually came to this thread to post this cute joke:

    A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

    Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

    He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

    "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

    Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

    Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

    "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

    "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

    "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as heck didn't!"

    Posted 7 months ago #
  16. funkymom
    Member

    Things to Do When Your ISP Is Down

    1. Dial 911 immediately.

    2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.

    3. You mean there's something else to do?

    4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.

    5. Work.

    6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.

    7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.

    Posted 7 months ago #
  17. graylox
    Member

    Something animal :

    http://www.clasohm.com/cows/guide.html

    Posted 7 months ago #
  18. maizeydaze
    Member

    Into cows, are you?

    COWS!

    Posted 7 months ago #
  19. maizeydaze
    Member

    Hi Everyone,
    I wanted to let you know I have a friend who has a Quarter horse for sale. If you or anyone you know may be interested, please let me know.

    Here is a picture of this beauty....... http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r300/maizeydaze/junk/image0011.gif

    Posted 7 months ago #
  20. funkymom
    Member

    OMG! maizey- i must have that horse! please ask admin for a way to contact me.

    ;D
    -------------------
    graylox- mooo

    Posted 7 months ago #
  21. maizeydaze
    Member

    funkymom - I'll get right on that. I'm almost certain I can get you a 25% discount!

    Posted 7 months ago #
  22. funkymom
    Member

    :D

    Posted 7 months ago #
  23. graylox
    Member

    maizeydaze, yes I was collecting black and white cows over years, and suddenly they became famous, and everybody had black and white cows.
    It started, because there noses were all-around when I took hollyday pictures in our Swedish paradise; and so we got more cow photos than photos of our children. Now all my black 'n white stuffed animals go one by one to my grandchildren.
    mooooo

    Posted 7 months ago #
  24. from an email i received:
    About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the
    >>>>>>Chinese had
    >>>>>> >to
    >>>>>> > > >>>leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese
    >>>>>> >community.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with
    >>>>>>a member
    >>>>>> > > >>>of
    >>>>>> > > >>>the Chinese community.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the
    >>>>>>Chinese
    >>>>>> >would
    >>>>>> > > >>>leave.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> >
    >>>>>> > >>>The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they
    >>>>>>picked a
    >>>>>> > > >>>middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah Peh asked
    >>>>>>for one
    >>>>>> > > >>>condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more
    >>>>>>interesting", he
    >>>>>> > > >>>said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope
    >>>>>>agreed.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat
    >>>>>>opposite each
    >>>>>> > > >>>other for a full minute.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh
    >>>>>>looked
    >>>>>> > > >>>back
    >>>>>> > > >>>at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a
    >>>>>>circle
    >>>>>> > > >>>around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the
    >>>>>>ground at where he sat.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull
    >>>>>>out an
    >>>>>> >apple.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good.
    >>>>>>The
    >>>>>> >Chinese
    >>>>>> > > >>>can stay."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking
    >>>>>>him what
    >>>>>> >had
    >>>>>> > > >>>happened.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the
    >>>>>>holy
    >>>>>> > > >>>trinity.He responded by holding up one finger to remind me
    >>>>>>that there
    >>>>>> >was
    >>>>>> > > >>>still one God common to both our religions."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> >
    >>>>>> > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all
    >>>>>>around
    >>>>>> > > >>>us."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God
    >>>>>>was also
    >>>>>> > > >>>right
    >>>>>> > > >>>here with us."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all
    >>>>>>sin. He
    >>>>>> > > >>>showed
    >>>>>> > > >>>me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer
    >>>>>>for
    >>>>>> > > >>>everything.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>What could I do?"
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > >
    >>>>>> >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"What happened?" they asked.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all
    >>>>>>Chinese had 3
    >>>>>> > > >>>days
    >>>>>> > > >>>to get out of here. I replied to him f*#k off and not one of
    >>>>>>us is
    >>>>>> > > >>>leaving."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of
    >>>>>>Chinese. I
    >>>>>> > > >>>showed
    >>>>>> > > >>>him that we are staying right here."
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"Yes, and then???" asked the crowd.
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>
    >>>>>> > > >>>"I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I
    >>>>>>took out
    >>>>>> > > >>>mine!!!"

    Posted 7 months ago #
  25. WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

    HE?? : Can I buy you a drink?
    SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

    HE????: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
    yours.
    SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
    yours.

    HE????: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
    SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

    HE????: How did you get to be so beautiful?
    SHE : I must've been given your share.

    HE?? : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
    SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this
    weekend.

    HE?? : Your face must turn a few heads.
    SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

    HE????: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
    SHE : Okay, get out.

    HE????: I think I could make you very happy.
    SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

    HE?? : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
    SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

    HE????: Can I have your name?
    SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

    HE????: Shall we go see a movie?
    SHE : I've already seen it.

    HE????: Where have you been all my life?
    SHE : Hiding from you.

    HE????: Haven't I seen you some place before?
    SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there
    anymore.

    HE????: Is this seat empty?
    SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

    HE?? : So, what do you do for a living?
    SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

    HE?? : Hey baby, what's your sign?
    SHE : Do not enter.

    HE?? : Your body is like a temple.
    SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

    HE?? : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
    SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

    FORWARD TO WOMEN IN NEED OF SOME LAUGHS
    (and men who may appreciate good humor)

    Posted 7 months ago #
  26. graylox
    Member

    :)))

    Posted 7 months ago #
  27. i have more ;)

    Posted 7 months ago #
  28. graylox
    Member

    let us see them

    Posted 7 months ago #
  29. maizeydaze
    Member

    graylox - I know what you mean about black & white cows becoming common. Several people I know have collections, especially in the kitchen. My 12 year old stepdaughter's best friend has a serious obsession with cows. Everything has to do with cows. For her 12th birthday party she insisted that all the children bring a b-day card with a cow theme. We had to make one on the computer.

    Have you seen the California Cheese "Happy Cows" commercials? Here's what I've found but I've seen others on the television. They're very funny!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GzEhDZFO6c
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up880afV_qs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo1Qu6yvGVs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-B2dK4kr7o
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4OjeuF8kqE
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4w_IsiKDlQ
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQSswTNhA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TN9lCZlGNQ&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HUgugXQKvI&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoPZXm53vuk
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qd8-zfIlDwY&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGwbK4xbiTk&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzZeZf5suq8&feature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtAsFHEstaI
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAmZDMJ9xqI

    Posted 7 months ago #
  30. graylox
    Member

    Mooooooooh mazey, for half an hour I had to go to an appointment - but instead I moooooooohed it.
    I would be a constant California-cheese-eater, I am sure.

    Posted 7 months ago #

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