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		<title>Giveaway of the Day Forums &#187; Topic: Could You Use A Laugh?</title>
		<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541</link>
		<description>Giveaway of the Day Forums &raquo; Topic: Could You Use A Laugh?</description>
		<language>en-US</language>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:34:08 +0000</pubDate>
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		<item>
			<title>Bobby on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/25#post-65580</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:54:47 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Bobby</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">65580@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;The Toughest Road Surface Of Them All    &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;A piece of road walks into a bar and declares to all its occupants: &#38;quot;I&#38;#39;m the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole of this town!&#38;quot;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The piano player stops and the bar goes deadly silent. After a brief pause, all eyes drop, the pianist returns to playing and the piece of road saunters up to the bar and orders a beer.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At that precise moment, in walks a piece of freeway which says: &#38;quot;I&#38;#39;m the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole country and I&#38;#39;ll take you on!&#38;quot;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The tension mounts, other drinkers scatter and take cover.  The two braggarts stood, staring at each other,  for what seemed like an eternity.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Once again, the door opens and, into the middle of the stand-off, walks a strange-looking piece of coloured bitumen with a blue stripe. Suddenly, the stand-off is forgotten!  The now-sheepish braggarts turn their backs to the door, sit down at the bar and stare quietly into their drinks.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The bartender sidles up to them and asks what the problem is. &#60;em&#62;&#38;quot;Shhhh!&#38;quot;&#60;/em&#62;, says the freeway, &#38;quot;Watch what you say, &#60;em&#62;that guy&#38;#39;s a real cycle path.&#38;quot;&#60;/em&#62;
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>HappyPerson on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/25#post-62622</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:46:00 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>HappyPerson</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">62622@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;As quoted from &#60;a href=&#34;http://ahajokes.com/ethnic29.html&#34;&#62;AhaJokes.com Site&#60;/a&#62;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;&#34;Learning Chinese terms-Crash Course in Speaking Chinese&#60;br /&#62;
Chinese Phrase English Translation&#34;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field? &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Kum Hia: Approach me&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Lao Ze: Not very good&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Lin Ching: An illegal execution&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Moon Lan Ding: A great achievement of the American space program&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Ne Ahn: A lighting fixture used in advertising signs&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Shai Gai: A bashful person&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Tai Ne Bae Be: A premature infant&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Tai Ne Po Ne: A small horse&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Ten Ding Ba: Serving drinks to people&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Wan Bum Lung: A person with T.B.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Yu Mai Te Tan: Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Wa Shing Kah: Cleaning an automobile&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Wai So Dim: Are you trying to save electricity?&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Wai U Shao Ting: There is no reason to raise your voice
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Buckleysmom on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/25#post-62614</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 01:11:46 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Buckleysmom</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">62614@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;I did not hit you.....I simply high-fived your face.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;--------------------------------&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Some people are like Slinkies, they're really good for nothing....&#60;br /&#62;
but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>notblocklox on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/25#post-62123</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 15 Aug 2009 04:41:18 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>notblocklox</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">62123@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Oh yes, I really could use a laugh, and this was a very good laugh. Thanks, Nola!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>NolafromNZ on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/25#post-62114</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:59:05 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>NolafromNZ</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">62114@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;I just found this on the Make Use Of site, credited to utdallas.edu.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Error Messages From Japan:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Here are 16 actual error messages seen on the computer screens in Japan, where they are written in Haiku.&#60;br /&#62;
Aren't these better than, &#34;your computer has performed an illegal operation&#34;?&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;.......................................................&#60;br /&#62;
The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;br /&#62;
Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.&#60;br /&#62;
-------------------------------------------------&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I really wish I could see some of these error messages, I'd at least get a laugh while gnashing my teeth and groaning in despair, lol.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>watcher13 on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-62011</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:28:27 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>watcher13</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">62011@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;I KNEW they were coming for me! I HAVE TO RUN! Great stuff, LeKanaw!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>LeKanaw on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-61992</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 11:54:41 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>LeKanaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">61992@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Hello :*)&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;My little contribution&#60;br /&#62;
&#60;a href=&#34;http://blogoscoped.com/archive/2009-08-11-n87.html&#34; rel=&#34;nofollow&#34;&#62;http://blogoscoped.com/archive/2009-08-11-n87.html&#60;/a&#62;&#60;br /&#62;
The fact it was filmed at GG's makes it funnier.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Your entries are always great BK!!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Peace
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>notblocklox on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-61560</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:14:11 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>notblocklox</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">61560@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;&#60;strong&#62;:):):)&#60;/strong&#62;&#60;br /&#62;
&#60;em&#62;sorry, BK, but it's too hot today to write a Thank you!&#60;/em&#62;
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Robert on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-61547</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 15:34:13 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Robert</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">61547@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;LOL.Thanks for sharing,BK !
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Buckleysmom on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-61500</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:54:09 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Buckleysmom</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">61500@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Sense of Freshness... &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;A new supermarket opened.  It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.  When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.  In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.  When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.  The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>watcher13 on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-61145</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:01:33 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>watcher13</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">61145@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Many of you have seen it - it's one of those, &#34;you should see it before you die&#34; things. However, especially for our non-American friends, I'm going to post a link to the famous Tim Conway elephant story outtake from the Carol Burnett Show. This is the whole one, too, often only the second part is shown. A little background. The show was edited together from two rehearsals. Anything flubbed in both rehearsals made in on to the final tape. Two rehearsals also helped if the show was going way over time in the first one, stuff could be cut out of the second. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;And Conway was notorius for adding ad-libs and physical bits that the others weren't prepared for to try and get them to crack up. He was particularly good at doing it to Harvey Korman. This is during a &#34;The Family&#34; sketch with Carol, Vicki, and Dick Van Dyke playing something like Trivial Pursuit. Tim, playing dim-witted Micky, launches into a couple of preposterous stories after one of the questions is about elephants. Even Tim starts cracking about how he's tearing up the other three. But Vicki Lawrence turns the tables and gets the last word, which is why it's an outtake.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;&#60;a href=&#34;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY&#38;#38;feature=PlayList&#38;#38;p=EEA6C5C03FB410B7&#38;#38;index=0&#34; rel=&#34;nofollow&#34;&#62;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY&#38;#38;feature=PlayList&#38;#38;p=EEA6C5C03FB410B7&#38;#38;index=0&#60;/a&#62;
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Robert on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-60218</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:22:49 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Robert</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">60218@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Good one, BK!&#60;br /&#62;
:D
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>watcher13 on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-60216</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:58:54 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>watcher13</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">60216@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;LOL! Thanks, Buckleysmom.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Buckleysmom on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-60214</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:44:55 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Buckleysmom</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">60214@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Hope this hasn't been posted here before...too cute not to share....&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;&#34;DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?&#34; Junior asks his dad,&#60;br /&#62;
His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies,&#60;br /&#62;
&#34;Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!&#34;&#60;br /&#62;
&#34;Well, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO.&#60;br /&#62;
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.&#60;br /&#62;
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.&#60;br /&#62;
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button.&#34;&#60;br /&#62;
&#34;Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS.&#60;br /&#62;
Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'You've Got Male'!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>HOSS on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-51030</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 14 Feb 2009 21:25:16 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>HOSS</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">51030@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;I found this great new site that can clean your monitor screen from the inside!  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Just go to 'full screen' and then click &#60;a href=&#34;http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf&#34;&#62;here&#60;/a&#62;.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Archangel on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-46805</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:21:05 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Archangel</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">46805@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Thanks maizey, loved the song and the music but who created it, its lovely.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-46795</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:42:36 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">46795@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;&#60;a href=&#34;http://pascalcampion.com/catnip.swf&#34;&#62;catnip for guys&#60;/a&#62;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;LOL!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>notblocklox on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-46787</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:07:18 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>notblocklox</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">46787@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;&#60;a href=&#34;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeypOvsY91Q&#38;#38;feature=related&#34;&#62;happy birthday M&#60;/a&#62;
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Archangel on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-43413</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:18:58 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Archangel</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">43413@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;LOL He's the one thats #2 under Archangel, Brad knew me. ROTFL
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>HOSS on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-43395</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:12:12 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>HOSS</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">43395@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch together.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Shrek said, 'I've always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?’&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Angelina Jolie added, 'I'm told I'm the most gorgeous of them all, but sometimes I wonder.’&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the sexiest man alive but I've never had it confirmed.'&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to ask the famed 'mirror, mirror on the wall' to confirm whether Shrek was the strongest, Angelina Jolie was the most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.  They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The next day Shrek strutted to the table and said, 'Well, it's true. The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.'&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Angelina Jolie said, ‘And the mirror told me I am the most gorgeous woman in the world.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Brad Pitt said with a frown, &#34;Who the hell is HOSS?????”
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-42824</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:27:39 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">42824@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;&#60;strong&#62;Wrong answers on school tests&#60;/strong&#62;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: Name the four seasons.&#60;br /&#62;
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.&#60;br /&#62;
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: How is dew formed?&#60;br /&#62;
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is a planet?&#60;br /&#62;
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What are steroids?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What happens to your body as you age?&#60;br /&#62;
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?&#60;br /&#62;
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.&#60;br /&#62;
A: Premature death.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Keep it in the cow.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is the Fibula?&#60;br /&#62;
A: A small lie.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What does “varicose” mean?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Nearby.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is the most common form of birth control?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarian Section.”&#60;br /&#62;
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is a seizure?&#60;br /&#62;
A: A Roman emperor.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is a terminal illness?&#60;br /&#62;
A: When you are sick at the airport.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What does the word “benign” mean?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is a turbine?&#60;br /&#62;
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Q: What is a Hindu?&#60;br /&#62;
A: It lays eggs.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-42823</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:26:40 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">42823@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Hi Lyndy24! I love that one. If you like jokes for women, you might want to read this other thread called &#60;a href=&#34;http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2814&#34;&#62;for the ladies&#60;/a&#62;. Enjoy!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Lyndy24 on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-42800</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:06:55 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>Lyndy24</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">42800@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Hi all, having spent 5 hours yesterday just reading this thread from the beginning (and going off to look at various things as I went along) I thought you might enjoy this one:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Quote for the day:&#60;br /&#62;
'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.&#60;br /&#62;
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.&#60;br /&#62;
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.&#60;br /&#62;
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.&#60;br /&#62;
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.'&#60;br /&#62;
So - if you give her crap, you will receive more sh*t than any one human being can handle&#60;br /&#62;
Love and appreciate all the women in your life.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-42596</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:41:46 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">42596@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;A Rule-Of-Thumb Guide on What to Pitch and What to Save&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Food moldyTHE GAG TEST&#60;br /&#62;
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;EGGS&#60;br /&#62;
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;DAIRY PRODUCTS&#60;br /&#62;
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.&#60;br /&#62;
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.&#60;br /&#62;
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.&#60;br /&#62;
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can’t get any more spoiled than it is already.&#60;br /&#62;
Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;MAYONNAISE&#60;br /&#62;
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;FROZEN FOODS&#60;br /&#62;
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;EXPIRATION DATES&#60;br /&#62;
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you’ll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you’d benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;MEAT&#60;br /&#62;
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;BREAD&#60;br /&#62;
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable “spots” that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;FLOUR&#60;br /&#62;
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;SALT&#60;br /&#62;
It never spoils.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;CEREAL&#60;br /&#62;
It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;LETTUCE&#60;br /&#62;
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can’t get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;CANNED GOODS&#60;br /&#62;
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;CARROTS&#60;br /&#62;
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;RAISINS&#60;br /&#62;
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;POTATOES&#60;br /&#62;
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;CHIP DIP&#60;br /&#62;
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;EMPTY CONTAINERS&#60;br /&#62;
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;UNMARKED ITEMS:&#60;br /&#62;
You know it is well beyond prime when you’re tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you OPEN them.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:&#60;br /&#62;
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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		<item>
			<title>suzzyqz on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40871</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:06:03 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>suzzyqz</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40871@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;yes LeKanaw..I found that one funny also..I had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Gentle Thoughts for Today-- &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;A penny saved is a government oversight. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Thereal art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at theright time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the temptingmoment. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement  .&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;He who hesitates is probably right. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt  &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'   &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.  It's worse when you forget to pull it down.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.&#60;br /&#62;
Today, it's called golf
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>LeKanaw on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40800</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:44:39 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>LeKanaw</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40800@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Bonsoir Everybody :*)&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;I found a very funny post, that I wanted to share&#60;br /&#62;
For the past hour &#38;#38; half I've been looking for that thread of ours where we added posters comments. Where in the hell is it?? Can't find it at all!!!!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;This site search feature [or lack of] really is aggravating!!! :-(&#60;br /&#62;
Anyway, posting it here&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;25.8.08 on Slava's blog, announcing No Giveaway:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;&#60;em&#62;Oh no! Now what am I to do!&#60;br /&#62;
How do you expect me to go a whole day without my download for the day?&#60;br /&#62;
Last time this happened I spent the day chasing chickens around the yard pulling their feathers out, one by one with my teeth.&#60;br /&#62;
The poor chickens are already running for the hills!&#60;br /&#62;
Got to take away their PDA's!&#60;/em&#62;&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Hope you get a giggle out of it, it really made me laugh out loud&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Mangoette
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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		<item>
			<title>copmom on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40593</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:02:30 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>copmom</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40593@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Some funny slogans:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;In a Podiatrist's office:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Time wounds all heels.'&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At a Proctologist's door:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'To expedite your visit, please back in.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On a Plumber's truck:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'We repair what your husband fixed.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On another Plumber's truck:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On a Church's Bill board:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'7 days without God makes one weak.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At a Tire Shop in  Milwaukee :&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Invite us to your next blowout.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At a Towing company:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On an Electrician's truck:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Let us remove your shorts.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;In a Nonsmoking Area:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On a Maternity Room door:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Push. Push. Push.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At an Optometrist's Office:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;On a Taxidermist's window:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'We really know our stuff.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At a Car Dealership:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Outside a Muffler Shop:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;In a Veterinarian's waiting room:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At the Electric Company&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'You will delight us if you send in your payment.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;However, if you don't, we will de-light you.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;In a Restaurant window:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;In the front yard of a Funeral Home :&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Drive carefully. We'll wait.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;At a Propane Filling Station:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Thank heaven for little grills.' &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;**************************&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;And don't forget the sign at a&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Best place in town to take a leak.'&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;************************************** &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck: &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;'Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40590</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:34:24 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40590@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Here's an email that I just got today.&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;******BULLETIN******&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Anheuser-Busch is selling out to a European Company. &#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Therefore, I have decided to boycott Anheuser-Busch!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Please drop your Beer off at my house, and I will dispose of it.
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>maizeydaze on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40589</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:32:05 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>maizeydaze</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40589@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;suzzyqz, That cat story had me LOL! Also, I'd like to add that I am a brunette! :)&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;Hoss, duh!&#60;/p&#62;
&#60;p&#62;WR, We'll try to keep this thread toward the top. I've been trying to do that all along. But, you know that sometimes I slack off. LOL I sure could use some more help. (Hint, hint!)
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>suzzyqz on "Could You Use A Laugh?"</title>
			<link>http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/topic/2541/page/24#post-40458</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:18:15 +0000</pubDate>
			<dc:creator>suzzyqz</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">40458@http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/forums/</guid>
			<description>&#60;p&#62;Hey WR!..YOU could never appear ignorant. We need you in this corner..liven things up a bit!!LOL!
&#60;/p&#62;</description>
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